Last night I went vintage clothes shopping with one of my girlfriends who wanted to take me to “HER” vintage store where she always finds things.  Earlier in the week, she had visited “MY” vintage store, where I always find things, and had come up empty handed.  We poured through the racks, picking out some amazing finds.  At the end of the trip my friend, who is tallish and athletically built had a pile to purchase. I, petite and curvy, had nothing.  ”It’s a crap shoot with vintage,” I said.  ”My friend said “Yeah, actually, I think that the owner here just buys stuff that would look good on her.  I’ve met her and we’re built almost exactly the same.”  And it occurred to me that at “MY” vintage store the owner and I could be body doubles for one another.  And, as a matter of fact, her partner (and sister) practically had Mayra’s exact body, so both of us always seemed to get lucky.

I tell this anecdote because to me this story exactly relates to the controversy that has been brewing over the hiring at Essence Magazine of a Fashion Editor who is white.  Many readers and people of color in the media world were very upset over this hire and the Editor in Chief of Essence issued a very thoughtful response explaining how this came about (the new hire had been freelancing there for months) AND challenging her angry readers to get angry about issues that really matter to the black community and NOT something as trivial as this.  And while I thought this was a good point, I didn’t think she actually addressed the one of the key issues.

It isn’t really a trivial hire.  Ask a board of directors at any museum, or the customer of any vintage shop CURATORS matter, and WHO the curator is (their background, their education, their “take” on what they do and the purpose of their museum/store/magazine/blog) matters A LOT.   And editors are curators.  And editors of magazines are curators with huge influence. Much as my vintage shop owner picks pieces to sell that she would wear, a fashion editor brings into their job their own personal take on clothes, body image, style.  If you don’t believe me, watch “The September Issue” and tell me if you think Grace Coddington’s work could be “authored” by anyone but Grace Coddington.

I think some of the anxiety over the hire at Essence from the readership is less about “reverse racism” than it is about  a worry over who is curating beauty and style at the most  iconic “safe space” in the media spectrum for black woman.  I believe that every woman, not just black women, want a place to turn and see themselves reflected back at them in a way that rings true to their experience.  ESPECIALLY when it comes to beauty and fashion. That is why so efforts have been made to create niche publications over the years (Latina, BUST and More come to mind).  I imagine that the concern of  Essence readers can be succinctly put in “But will this woman get it? Will she get it enough for this to still appeal to me and if not, well then what?”  It isn’t a trivial issue because beauty isn’t a trivial matter to most women.

Mayra and I used to lament that bridal magazines didn’t better utilize the Real Weddings feature as a way to incorporate more diverse weddings in their pages, not because we are these crazy liberal Brown alumni obsessed with diversity (we are) but because we know that for brides, at this time when you want to feel your most gorgeous and showcase who you are as a couple, it’s comforting/ inspiring to see other couples that mirror  you in some way.  We realized though that the mission of a bridal magazine isn’t necessarily to do that, their mission is to showcase trends, offer advice and sell magazines and  you do that by appealing to the broadest base possible.  If you can also tackle diversity, BONUS.  So, that said, we made it part of our mission to try and do that with our blog whenever possible.  And that makes sense because we are the “Curators” of our experience and this is naturally a reflection of who we are as people.  We live diverse lives filled with people from all walks of life, that is who our client is and why wouldn’t that be what we blog about?

Things like this issue make me so happy for the existence blogs (and to have our own) because it provides a platform for many women to “Curate” editorial that is a reflection of themselves and to provide content that is outside what “mainstream” media might cover.  A bridal magazine might not publish a wedding with a 40 year old bride, but a blog would.  It’s nearly impossible to see brides who aren’t sample size in print media, but not online.  Bernadette from Gay Weddings wrote a beautiful post a couple of weeks ago asking the Bridal Media to do a better job of being inclusive to Same Sex couples. And while I completely am in agreement with her, until mainstream media catches up (if they do), I am so glad there are blogs and sites where gay couples can see experience that reflect them.

Only time will tell if Essence’s new fashion director will “get it”.  But if she doesn’t, ultimately it isn’t the Essence reader who will suffer, it’s Essence.  Five years ago, Essence may have been the ultimate “voice” for black women, but today there are many blogging taste makers eager to scoop up their readership and curate content that rings true to that audience.

*historically,I would like to say, the knot has always done an amazing job of showcasing very diverse weddings

I grew up eating Mexican food every single day at home. On special occasions we often went out to local restaurants to eat, you guessed it, Mexican food. So if I am EVER asked to choose a restaurant or if I ever decide to cook at home (which granted, is rare) I stick to what I know. Xochitl always asks me if I ever get tired of it. My answer is no.

My boyfriend, who is not Mexican, doesn’t share my love of spice and often calls me a Mexican food bully:) Since I want to also make him happy and make things that he grew up with, I started to ask people for soul food cookbook recommendations. I was told that these two books were great! As a matter of fact, I was told that “Down Home with The Neely’s” is sinful:)

A client marring a South Asian man (Gujrati) had her mother in law recommend this Madhur Jaffrey book. If her mother in law was okay with it, then I think I would trust it.

For someone trying to impress a Filipino family, you might try this.

If someone wanted to learn some basic Mexican recipes, I love these Williams Sonoma “Savoring Mexico” books. My cousin has these at her house, and every time I am there I always make a mental note to buy one for myself.

Xochitl is a self described ItaliaRican, with some Mexican for good measure. Of course, she always counts herself as a Brooklyn-nite.  The ONLY cookbook to ever set foot in her home growing up she says was The Brooklyn Cookbook.… it covered everything her family, or her friends’ families might ever possibly be eating or want to it, which covers a lot of bases.

Any others that I am missing? Let us know!

Recently, I worked on a wedding for an absolutely AWESOME couple (and fellow Brown alums) where the bride’s sister was an artist. As a wedding present to the couple, she created for them a hand painted Chuppah cover with an abstract image of lower Manhattan, where the couple had made their home.

I love the Chuppah because of it’s symbolism (it represents the marital home the couple will build together, which is why it needs to be open on the sides to encourage hospitality), but it is ALSO a fantastic way to personalize your ceremony. While Chuppahs are a wonderful opportunity for your florist or designer to showcase their bravura, I personally lean towards those Chuppahs that are a bit lighter on design and heavier on symbolism. Obviously, not everyone has an artistic sister like Heather’s, but that isn’t the only way in which a chuppah can be personal. For Rachel and Noah’s wedding last year, we used Noah’s two great-grandfather’s talis to create a simple, but meaningful chuppah canopy for their ceremony. The Chuppah didn’t just represent their home, but it represented their past and future all at the same time.

They are ALSO really cool canvasses for personal, creative expression! I saw this Chuppah on Mishka Designs blog and it so reminded me of Papel Picado that should my next wedding be a multi-culti, Judeo-Christian interfaith celebration, I’m stealing this idea! Que Cute!

And, actually, the Chuppah is a really GREAT opportunity to blend cultures should you be having an interfaith or multi-cultural ceremony.  I found this stunning, suspended Chuppah that was created for a Hindu- Jewish wedding (or, as the bride hilariously refers to it on her website, their “Hin-Jew Wedding”). I loved this because a) I always think of mandaps when I think of Chuppahs, as their symbolism and beauty are very similar and b) because I thought their interpretation really PERFECTLY blended their two cultures. c) I think suspended Chuppahs are REALLY COOL.

So, the message of the day kids is to look at your Chuppah not just as a necessity of your wedding, but as one more opportunity to infuse your day with a bit more of the two of you!

When did the Electric Slide get a bad rap? Why is it that it sits right under the Chicken Dance on the “Do Not Play” list? I personally LOVE the Electric slide. I can’t remember the last family wedding where we didn’t play it. Okay, so we call it “El Caballo Doroado” and it sounds a lot like “The Achy Breaky Heart”, but it involves the exact same dance moves, and people pump their fists in the air and jump onto the dance floor when it starts to play.

Latinos aren’t the only group that tend to love Electric Slidin’ though. Not to generalize, but I have rarely been to or planned an African American, Flipino, or Caribbean American wedding where we didn’t get Electric. Not only is it NOT uncool, it is a must have that brings young and old alike onto the dance floor.

Case in point, I helped plan a baby shower for one of my oldest friends this weekend and midway through they had to bust it out.

So if you like the Electric Slide, please don’t be ashamed to say it. Play it loud and proud at your event. I promise people will dance! Some people might even pump their fist in the air:)

This past weekend I was in Essex CT with my Aunt Linda.  The town was quainter than quaint and we let my Uncle off the hook from our shopping excursion through adorable stores.  This was a good thing because I found and fell in love with an array of products from Juliska.  Some of these things MUST make your way to your registry.  Initially, we fell in love with this adorable ceramic piggy that is available in an array of  glazes including yellow, green, pink and blue.   At only $45 it’s the perfect thing to gift to people for a new baby.

After I noticed the piggy, we went crazy over these GORGEOUS pitchers. They are all handblown in the Czech Republic and are insanely delicate and yet dishwasher safe. They have gorgeous stemware as well. My favorite detail about this pitcher is that the mouth forms the shape of a heart… but in a totally, uncheesy way!

If you love the blown glass, you will love these domed dessert dishes. I think they are a MUST have for any registry because, honestly, when would you buy yourself a domed dessert stand?

Finally, I just loved their ceramic dinnerware. The patterns are definitely leaning towards the shabby chic and are much more for everyday than fine dining, but they are so lovely and INSANELY well made AND, again, you have a lot of options with the glazes. They are all made in Portugal.

Anyway, it’s not that often that I’m really impressed by quality and price and design of household items, but these really did impress me. I encourage you to check them out- especially some of their hostess pieces, as I think they could round out a registry of some more basic items.

I never get tired of telling people that I am a native Californian. I think it’s either because my Cali pride makes me feel less guilty about living far away OR because I think it says something about me, like that I am chill and easy going. Either way, I’ve decided to write about one of my  favorite California vendors, hair and make-up artist Ami Desai.

Every time I go in to see Ami Desai, I am struck by how gorgeous and put together SHE looks. I mean, don’t you want the person who is getting you dolled up to look great herself? I do! Specializing in South Asian brides, but experienced and comfortable with all skin and hair types. I especially love that she is able to create such dramatic looks without making you feel OR look like you have make-up caked on. I live in fear of a make-up mask, and she manages to avoid that while still making people look “made-up”.

Ami’s work was featured on the cover of South Asian Bride’s Premiere issue.

I also enjoy her blog where she tells you what products are worth the money and worth buying. She’s like my own private shopper, testing products along the way so that I don’t have to!

So if you are in the LA area and are looking for someone to glam you up, give Make-up by Ami a call!

A few months ago I got a call from a lovely bride to be, Diane. She lived in Ireland and wanted to elope, but wanted to make sure that the wedding was special, and didn’t trust the internet when making decisions for such an important day. She wanted to have someone who she could talk to, who would guide her a help them create a wonderful wedding day from start to finish. I had worked on something similar before and LOVED it, so I was happy to come on board.

First, in order to set the tone for this wonderful vacation, we booked a suite at The Standard Hotel. Since we were essentially working on a wedding and honeymoon in one, we knew that the backdrop to this occasion should be special. The selling point? This freestanding tub overlooking the Hudson.

I wanted her “getting ready” experience to be special. Isn’t that part of being a bride? So we hired hair and make-up artist Maira Ortiz to glam her up. To ensure that she would love it on her wedding day, we also set up a trial as soon as she arrived in town. Maira (first name spelled different, but pronounced just like mine:) went all out on the wedding day and brought in her special chair and some upbeat music that made the process feel festive.

Next, we had to choose a setting for the actual wedding. After some back and forth, we opted for the Brooklyn Bridge. We hired Rev. Fleenor before the couple arrived in town, and they worked with him over email and with a few phone calls to create a ceremony that was unique to them. Even though it had rained all week, the skies cleared up for their picture perfect ceremony!

After the ceremony, a town car whisked them away to continue their photo session around the city with our photographer, Robert Wagner.We made sure to include the usual (Central Park) but also stopped at some places that had special meaning for them as a couple (Pastis, where they had been having every meal on their trip:).

After the photosession with Robert, we arranged for a private dinner for the happy couple at a fabulous restaurant in the city. Isn’t this a great way to get married? A day truly dedicated to each other. Congratulations to the happy couple!

Still looking for the perfect wedding colors? After seeing the blue and green combo popping up, I thought it might be a fun palette to highlight. Even though the scheme has been done before,  this is just a reminder to those who have forgotten the potential and pop of such a bold and unexpected combination. There’s no mistaking the fact that bright colors can absolutely inject a fun, fresh vibe into your event. An outdoor wedding in particular would have tons of fun with this!

The bold blue so nicely compliments the green to create an energized yet sophisticated blend. Incorporating colors such as these evoke an adventurous personality and dauntless style. As always, the over-use of color can potentially saturate and quickly straddle the line between just enough and way too much; with vivacious hues such as these…less is definitely more.

Photo Credits: Centerpieces, Chair Decor, Wedding Cake, Guestbook, Feather Pen, Bouquet, 2 tier cake, Flowergirl basket & Ring Bearer Pillow, Invitations

xx

Sal

Terry Gruber sent me this movie the other day and I had to share it with you.  Terry Gruber’s photography studio is legendary and for the past 13 years they have been located in a suite of rooms in a lovely building on 57th Street.  He recently made the move downtown to the flatiron building and, because this is what they do, photo documented the entire move.  This VERY entertaining movie is a stop motion documentation of their move.

Part of why I LOVED it is because, having recently moved my office, it was so ABSOLUTELY the opposite of OUR move.  Our stop motion movie of our move would have involved Hong Dong Movers, picking up an antique table we found on craigslist and stop motion footage of Mayra yelling at Verizon every day while our phones didn’t work.   Anyway, for anyone who has EVER moved, this is how it SHOULD go.

Gruber Photographers: A Moving Story for a New York Wedding Photographer from terry d gruber on Vimeo.

eo 13107039]

The tradition of the bridal registry dates back to Victorian times when the registry was actually just a simple book kept in a shop where friends and relatives would go to view the list and select items to purchase. Now that we have entered the “digital” age, most registries are accessible on-line in one way or another. Additionally, with technological advances there are an overwhelming range of items you can add to your registry – some  quite useful, others not so necessary…but still pretty awesome.

Here are a few fun items that fall into both of these categories: (the Cuisinart ice cream maker tops my list – mom never let me get the Snoopy Snow Cone machine so this will hit the spot and then some)

Another personal favorite is the new Nook from Barnes and Noble. It is a new-ish (new for for B&N at least) e-reader that you can personalize with fun cases that come in a variety of different colors and styles. And yes I have to admit, the chic and adorable Kate Spade covers are an absolute must have in my book. Ha! Get it…my book

Nook @ Barnes and Noble- $149.00

Barnes and Noble- $19.95

Kate Spade for Nook…

Barnes and Noble- $125.00

Barnes and Noble- $85.00

Where to buy (left to right) : Electric Wine Opener $119.95 from Williams Sonoma,Cuisinart Electric Rotisserie$199.95 fom Williams Sonoma, Keurig platinum Coffee Brewer 169.99 from Kohl’s, Home Entertainment System $549.99 from Sony,  Ice Cream Maker $79.99 from Best Buy, Pizzazz Rotating Oven from Target $49.99, Berville Juice Fountain $375.00 from Bloomingdale’s, Videophone Touch AiGuru $270.00 from Saks Fifth Ave, and Sodastream “Genesis” Kit $125.00 from Bloomingdale’s

xx

Sal